●拉致監禁:1975年のアメリカの例-ブライアンの体験 Part 4 of 5

記事タイトル(原文):Deprogramming from the Unification Church - Statement of Brian Sabourin Part 4 of 5
タイトル日本語:統一教会に対するディプログラミング - ブライアン・サボウリン氏の体験 その4(5回連載)
発表機関(英語):Anti Cult Movement
記事の日付:不明 (記事中のディプログラミングは1975年7月4日に始まった)
日本語訳: Yoshi

原文と訳 開始
The second day continued much like the first day had, with my parents making infrequent visits at the request of the deprogrammers. Yet it was fortunate for them that they only visited me this much, because whenever they came, it only proved to be miserable for them. For example, on the second day when my mother and father came, my mother started a conversation with me. She said, "Brian, can't you see how wrong you were to join such a movement at this? Can't you see how Moon is just brainwashing you kids?" When I said, "no," she started crying and crying.


I simply didn't know what to do! Comforting them by saying everything was going to be all right was an outright lie. Nothing was going to be all right as long as I was prevented from explaining myself to them, and as long as they believed that I was brainwashed it was hopeless. I thought a lot about trying to escape and explaining everything later when we all could be more calm and reasonable. But I knew the deprogrammers would never leave them alone, and would easily convince them to try more drastic measures for getting me out. Furthermore, I couldn't stand to see them suffering like they were. I knew that I would hurt them very deeply if I escaped. So... I decided to stick it out. I wouldn't try to escape, not even if they gave me an easy opportunity. I planned to outlast them. I would listen to them and listen to them until they ran out of energy and breath, then I would explain myself and show them the ridiculousness of their actions.


Well, it didn't work... They took time out, exchanging themselves with other loudmouths while I was always there, catching it.


As time went on, I became weaker and weaker. My headache was constantly with me, night and day. I would frequently feel so much like vomiting that I would visually measure the distance to the sink and estimate how quickly I could make it there, hoping that the deprogrammers wouldn't misinterpret my intentions and stop me mid-way.


The second day ended like the first, except an hour earlier. I got to bed at 2:00 a.m. and was woken about 7:00 a.m. the next morning. The third day was virtually similar to the second and first days. Yet I was quickly becoming weaker. By this time I started to pretend to agree with them on certain points to defray some of their attacks. Yet this proved to be my undoing later when they discovered this and came down on me even harder.


I hadn't changed my clothes or brushed my teeth or anything since they got me on Friday. I felt and looked wretched by this time. Yet this was all part of their game. By the end of the third day I know that I was hopeless to think of ever reasoning with these people, or with my parents as long as these people were around to influence them. But I still would not try to escape, because of the effects which I believed this would have on my parents, even though I had some good opportunities.


The fourth day was the same as the rest, except for the change in me. I was really sick... I couldn't think straight if I had to by this time. I was totally caught up in a mesh of conflicting loyalties -- between my parents and the church -- and didn't know where to turn. I still believed and wanted to belong to the church at this point, but I no longer could remember or explain my reasons why. As the deprogramming continued, my mind discontinued. I started to become really scared of what was happening to me. I even started to feel brainwashed, if you can imagine what that feels like. So when the fifth day rolled around, I knew my time was limited. They were allowing me to get more sleep by now, around five to six hours, but it was nowhere near enough. I had started to fall asleep during the sessions by the third day, and by the fifth day, it was more than a struggle to stay awake. Whenever I would start to drop off they would kick me to wake me up. Once, I pretended to be asleep to see how far they would go in order to try and revive me. When the kicking didn't bring a response, the slaps did -- I opened my eyes and everything returned to "normal."

4日目は、私の中に起きた変化以外は同じだった。私は、ひどく具合が悪く、まともに考えることができなかった。私は、両親と教会の間で、どちらにつくかの罠にはまったしまった。どちらに振り向いていいのか、わからなくなった。私はまだ、この時点では教会に属していたかったが、もう、その理由を覚えていないし、説明もできなかった。ディップログラミングは進んでいくにつれ、私の頭は止まってしまった。これから私に何が起きるのだろうかと、正直、恐ろしく思うようになった。私は、洗脳されたような気分にさえなった。5日目が終わった時は、私の時間は限られているとわかった。この頃には、5時間から6時間の睡眠が許されるようになったが、十分ではなかった。3日目のあたりには、セッション中に眠ってしまうことがあったが、5日目になると、起きているのが苦痛だった。私が、うとうとし始めるや否や、彼らは、私を起こすため、蹴り上げた。ある時、寝たふりをして、どこまで彼らがやるのか試してみた。蹴っても反応がなければ、平手打ちだ。私は目を開け、全ては ”通常”に戻った。

2010-10-29 夜:4段落目まで終了
2010-10-30 夜:最後まで終了

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